#This ones a little harder because the artist is more established

[frekkicreative]

Ugh. Do I want to be that person? Do I want to call out someone for painting over AI art? I mean at least they did some work but... it's noticeable. It's in the hair lmao. It's in the rendering. It's in the little details that just don't look natural. One of those things could be excused. Maybe two. But all three? Nah, the style is close but it's not a natural progression of the art this person had previously posted. Over 10k notes too. Wild.

[hellishjoel]

positions

2.4k / pairing: tattoo artist daddy dom!joel miller x sub f!reader

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chapter summary: You and Joel mutually pleasure each other while “researching” porn. 

chapter warnings/information: MA 18+ (minors DNI), no outbreak/TLOU, Joel is a tattoo artist with tattoos and piercings, Joel and reader are in the pre-phase of creating porn together, watching porn together, unspecified age gap, established relationship, reader is described to have hair and is able-bodied (but otherwise, unspecified), swearing, dirty talk, smut, lots of pet names (angel, bunny, etc.), dacryphilia (kink = getting aroused by tears), dom/sub dynamics, innocence kink, praise kink, degradation kink, pain kink, daddy kink, oral (m!receiving), size kink, fingering (f!receiving), squirting, hair pulling, one (1) pussy smack, pussy and cock pronouns

A/N: this was written as a mini chapter within the cherry thrill series but can be read as a standalone. a hugehugehuge shoutout to @devineconjuring because without her support, I wouldn’t have even thought about sitting down to write this when the creative burst finally hit! everyone thank annie for beta’ing this mini-chapter! divider is by @firefly-graphics!

Eyes glazed over in lust, lips parted, skin warm with desire — both of you. 

You and Joel rest your backs against the headboard of his bed, gazes unbroken, staring at your laptop screen. 

Porn. 

Anal. Amateur. Bondage. Free Use. Hardcore. Softcore. You’re watching the A-Z catalog with your partner. Was this a kink? Because trying to sit next to Joel while watching porn, trying not to get worked up, felt like a twisted game. 

Joel knows you’re turned on. You haven’t stopped squirming beside him for at least twenty minutes. It was agonizing at this point to be so wet, so aching for touch, a deep breath of air nowhere in sight. And it was your stupid idea. 

If you were going to film porn, it was only logical that you see what’s out there and get a sense of what you’d be open to filming with Joel. What was your comfort level? Would you start out by appealing to the amateur audience with limited cuts and genuine passion? Or would you like it more if Joel had all the control, playing into his role of being your dom, and ordered you around like his little cock slut? 

All these videos had you questioning which category you fit in. Even worse, these videos, which were meant to be for research, had turned you on to the point of no return. 

You can feel him looking at you out of the corner of your eye. You’d have to be blind not to notice how hard he’s become in his sweatpants. It’s almost thrilling at this point to see who breaks first. 

Your body shudders as Joel moves to change the video to the next one. Christ, help me. He chooses something from the exhibition category, and you can feel your stomach twisting with desire. 

“You doin’ alright?” His gravelly voice rumbles from beside you, a weak mhmm leaving your lips in response. Your eyes trace over the dark swirls of ink that curve around his forearm and flourish into a larger design on his bicep. You remember the day you asked if it hurt—if the needle pressing into flesh left behind more than just beauty. He didn’t answer; he just shot you a sly smirk, the kind that left you wondering if the pain was part of the allure. 

Joel reaches over, his firm hand squeezing your trembling thigh. It feels like a force of nature, the way you gush harder at the physical contact. You swallow the lump in your throat as you feel his hand move to the waistband of your sweats. 

You don’t move, don’t breathe. Both of your gazes are fixed on the laptop screen, not shifting even when his fingers curl inside your wet panties. He parts your pussy lips, feeling her warmth and arousal soak his fingers. A shaky breath leaves you as one of his fingers slowly circles your swollen clit. 

“Joel,” you whisper breathlessly, your forehead resting against his tattooed bicep. 

“I know,” is all he has to say. 

His fingers dip lower, swirling the tips around your desperate hole before finally sinking in. 

You stare at the video, but it’s like white noise at this point. Neither of you pays attention to the screen, but the blood rushing to your ears forces you to catch every moan and grunt from the partners in the video. 

“Jesus,” you can’t help but pant out. “Please,” you weakly beg. 

All Joel does is tut darkly. “Jesus ain’t here to save this wet pussy, angel, I am. So you better start beggin’ me.” 

As Joel starts to slowly finger your pussy, you realize it’s less about needing to orgasm and more about the process of feeling satisfied together. 

With your head resting on Joel’s arm, you press soft kisses against his tan skin as your hand reaches past the waistband of his grey sweatpants. 

Your touch is electric. You watch as Joel sits up straight beside you once you start slowly stroking his already hard cock–he’s heavy in your hand, your gentle fingertips able to feel all the prominent veins of his shaft. 

Joel’s low groan fills the room, and you know he’s struggling to keep himself from ripping your panties down your legs and getting his fill of you. 

But that’s not the game you two are playing. 

Your hot breath fans across his skin as he crooks his fingers to just the right spot within your cunt, the feeling unexpected as he stretches your sweet pussy. The sensation forces your hand to squeeze Joel a little harder, a distinct growl of both pain and pleasure fueling his ministrations. Once again, you’re reminded that pleasure protects you like a shield, and pain is the only thing that can penetrate it. Pain doesn’t just hurt Joel. It transforms him.

“I wanna bend you over like that,” he admits, his tongue playing with his lip piercing out of habit. Your hazy eyes slowly flick from Joel to your laptop. The video has changed again. The man in the video currently has a housemaid bent over the kitchen counter, doing whatever he pleases to her, while his wife sits in the dining room simply flipping through her newspaper and drinking her coffee. 

You’re not as good at this as Joel is; you can barely speak as he pleasures you. “W-We’d get caught,” you breathe out, your hips grinding against his fingers as his thumb starts to work over your pearl. 

Joel hums darkly, shifting a third finger into your entrance. It’s a burning stretch, one that forces out a low whine from deep in your throat. Your touch all but abandons Joel, his jaw tightening as you remove your hand from his swollen cock. 

You stare deep into his dark eyes as you lick a slow stripe up your palm, excess saliva trailing down your hand before you return it to his aching member. 

“Fuck,” he pants, his head falling back to rest on the headboard with a hard thud. He doesn’t fucking care. The pleasure outweighs the pain. 

“Come here, baby,” Joel instructs as his fingers exit your warmth. 

You whine like a brat but follow his instructions. He pulls you onto your knees, moving your upper half over his lap and shoving his sweatpants down so his cock is finally free. 

“Use that pretty mouth of yours. Always so perfect for me,” he coos. “Now go slow.” 

His words have you mewling in pleasure, resting your head on his lap as you suckle his tip into your warm mouth. It’s teasing, but you want to go slow, to do what he told you to. You want him to last. 

He pulls your sweats and panties down, your warm pussy and the globes of your ass shocked by the cool air hitting your skin. You let out a needy whimper–he never fails to pleasure you, even while chasing his own release. Arching your back, you put yourself on display for him.

“Keep watchin’ the screen. Good girl,” Joel mutters as he slowly gathers your hair in one fist, lazily dragging your head up and down his cock. He fills your mouth, and for a moment, you forget to breathe. Your eyes grow teary, your body flinching as you choke down his length in a desperate attempt to taste his salty finish. Swallowing down as much of him as you can, you bury your nose against the coarse dark hair at the base of his shaft, gulping around his length. Desire ultimately outweighs Joel’s orders for you to go slow, and you begin to suck his cock at your own more eager pace. His grunts of pleasure fill your ears, the grip on your hair only tightening, whatever restraint he has left quickly deserting him. 

Joel is a man whose sexual pleasure derives from control—a fragile dominance that feeds his pleasure. But that control is unraveling, slipping through his gasp faster than he can regain himself. 

“Hey,” he grumbles, yanking you off his shaft by your hair. He slips out of your hungry mouth–you still try to get him back into the safety of your warmth as he reprimands you. A spank to your aching pussy with his heavy hand sends a shockwave of throbbing need across your body, jolting you to life as you let out a whine for him. “I said slow. It’ll feel better the longer you wait, I promise. For both of us.” 

You have to trust him. You know he knows best. 

Swallowing down thick spit, you nod against his grip. “Yes, daddy. I’m sorry, daddy.” 

That goddamn name. It pulls something from deep inside of Joel, a monster in hibernation that’s hungry for something to cross its path and wake it up. 

And you just did. 

“Good girl.” The grip he has on your hair tightens, and you’re back to stuffing his cock down your tight throat. 

You follow his instructions. The speed is slow, as promised, but every touch feels exhilarating. Your senses are on overdrive. The tingling in your scalp, the feeling of his two thick tattooed fingers plugging your cunt, his thumb circling your already charged clit–it was all so desperate to unfurl. 

You can feel Joel pulsing inside your mouth, ready to gush like a volcano on the verge of eruption. You trace the vein on the underside of his cock with your tongue, his precum adding a layer of tanginess to your tastebuds. 

You weakly moan against him, trying to force out as much excess saliva as you can. It drips down all his inches and coats the hair on his balls. Your arousal leaks down his fingers. The woman in the video lets out strangled moans from the kitchen counter, and finally, the man’s wife takes notice of the two fucking on the counter. She acts shocked, catching them both in the act. 

Joel wins. 

You cry out against his cock and tighten the suction you have on his shaft, slurping and letting out lewd sounds as you quicken the pace of your mouth. You ignore the pain in your jaw and neck, eager to taste his salty release. Joel must agree that the game is up because his hand no longer guides you–he simply pumps his fingers faster inside your desperate cunt. Your hips drive back against his hand, the heel of his palm adding extra friction to your clit. 

“Goddam, you wanna choke on it that bad? Fill your mouth up, wishing it was your pussy? Listen to this good little pussy purr,” Joel moans out as he massages the spongy walls within your cunt, and you can already feel your stomach begin to spasm. 

You gluck gluck gluck around his dick, mouth filled with so much of him that it makes you light-headed with lust. He rips you away from his cock, but only for a moment, a rush of air filling your lungs as he lays your head on top of his thigh. Your eyes are wild and lost, desperate for one thing and one thing only. 

“Tell me,” Joel demands, the veins in his neck pulsing as the crease between his eyebrows deepens. “Tell me what you are, what you want.” 

You whine something pathetic as Joel’s fingers only quicken inside your cunt. “Fuck!” you cry out, your entire body shuddering over his lap as you keep stroking his sticky cock with your hand. 

He makes you admit your thoughts, your sexual desires, and everything you're thinking out in the open. It forces you to be vulnerable with your sexuality–something that doesn’t come easy for you, but Joel willingly helps you navigate. 

If you want to finish, you need to spill your secrets and fantasies. 

It surges like a headrush, electric along your spine and needy for him as you find your words. 

“I-I’m such a fucking slut for your cum, Joel, please baby, I wanna taste you so bad,” you stutter and slur as Joel hums approvingly. His thumb wipes away a stray tear, something comforting and warm in the way he praises you for trying. You feel your orgasm working its way up through your bones, through the heat in your stomach, until it slips down your spine. “I-I wanna feel it down my throat, I want it to be my last meal, I- fuck, I feel so fucking dumb with your cock in my mouth. I worship him.”

Joel’s hanging onto every word, his chest pumping with the added fuel to his ego. His jaw clenches tighter and tighter, teeth gritting as he groans your name at the praise.

“Christ,” he mutters, enamored by your words and how pretty you look with his precum and your saliva glistening on your lips. “Such a good girl for me, so fuckin’ perfect.” 

Something different pools at the base of your stomach, something you don’t fully understand, but it’s familiar. You whimper in embarrassment because it almost feels like you need to pee, but you don’t, your thighs getting splashed by something more than an orgasm, and Joel really fucking likes it.

“Oh god, d-did I-”

“Yeah, bunny, you fuckin’ squirted for me,” Joel growls as he drags you back over him. 

You’re slurping at his cock, and it doesn’t take long for you to both reach the orgasm you’ve been holding out on while watching this damn porn. 

Glistening tears flow down your cheeks, your brain dumb with pleasure as the euphoria finally floods the tight clench in your stomach. Your release pools down Joel’s fingers, his own more desperate and needy as he shoots white-hot spurts down your throat. You moan against his shaft and roll your head from side to side, nose buried in the thick hair of his happy trail as you swallow around his cock like he taught you. 

Joel groans out in pleasure, your tongue still lazily lapping around his shaft. “So fuckin’ good, that was so hot, baby. Jesus Christ.” 

He strokes your hair, and you both slow to nothing, feeling like you’ve run a marathon. His fingers stay buried inside your wasted cunt, your wet mouth weakly panting against his warm thigh. Joel reaches forward and closes the laptop. 

“Did you… did you see any positions you liked?” 

You don’t respond right away. You know he’s talking to you, but it takes a few moments for it to register. 

“I think… I’ve got a few ideas for our debut.” 

Joel chuckles tiredly, laying his head back against the headboard once more.

“We’re really doin’ this? We’re gonna make porn?”

You sigh weakly and find the strength to sit up, facing the weathered look Joel is sporting. You give him an innocent smile as you wipe your chin with your forearm. “That’s right, daddy.” 

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[borathae]

↳ Index [Day 29 - Sex High]

Pairing: Good Boy!Taehyung x Soft Domme!Reader

Genre: established relationship!AU, artists!AU

Kinks: sex on the bedroom floor, consumption of weed brownies, consensual sex when high, this is incredibly safe & loving, praise, body worship, nipple play, blowjob, cum swallowing, lots of kisses & giggles, Tae is a whiney subbb, adoring aftercare

Wordcount: 2.7k

a/n: all you had to say was "sex high", "shutter sounds tae" and "blowjob" and i knew i had to fulfill your wish oh lordddd this is so hot <3 the shutter sounds couple is THE perfect couple for this kink, no joke 💚

You and Taehyung baked brownies. Very special brownies. Weed brownies, they are weed brownies. You learned the recipe on a holiday in Amsterdam where you and Taehyung stayed at a mutual art friend’s apartment and she showed it to you. You tried your first weed brownie with her that same night and then used your comfortable high to paint. Ever since that night, you and Taehyung like to occasionally recreate her recipe to get high and make art. 

The art which comes out of these hazy nights is always very virtuoso and dream-like. Sometimes, when the munchies hit, you forget all about painting and end up ordering too much food, eating it and talking about anything and everything. And other times, you forget about art and food as the high draws you closer to each other.

Sex when you are high is incredible and feels just like the art you create. Virtuoso and dream-like. Your bodies are overly sensitive to each touch whilst at the same time, feeling far away on fluffy clouds. Your emotions are on a total high as well - pun intended - making you and him obsessed with the closeness you share. 

Being high and having sex is definitely a favourite way to enjoy the special brownies and tonight it is what this evening seems to be evolving into. 

You aren’t aware of it yet because you are still trapped in your artistic trance. You are painting the sundown and cherry blossom trees because this is how the brownie makes you feel.

You have relaxing music playing in the background and from the opened windows, the sounds of the city enters the bedroom. The soft antique Persian rug keeps your butt comfortable as you and Taehyung sit on the floor. Well, you are still sitting, Taehyung has already given up on that. He is lying on his stomach, head resting on his arm and puppy eyes glued to you. The high is really hitting him right now, making it impossible to do much more than lie, listen to the music and look at you. He wouldn’t want it any other way. He feels like he could fly right now if only he tried hard enough. Which he won’t because his limbs feel heavy like lumps of rock. 

It sometimes happens that one of you feels overtaken by their high and loses control in a way. It is never a problem because you are in the company of each other and there is no company safer than that. 

Taehyung feels completely and entirely safe right now. That and so, so, so in love with you that it gets hard to breathe.

Your eyelids are naturally heavy because of the high and your eyes are a little red. He thinks it is beautiful. The sun is setting, entering the bedroom in streaks of gold and oranges which gives your skin the most beautiful glow. Taehyung swears that he can see your aura around your body. It is more golden than any sunlight ever could be. 

“Your soul’s glowing”, he lulls.

It takes you a moment to react and once you do, it is really slow. You set the paint brush down and turn your head in slow motion.

“What?” you ask and blink your eyes one by one.

“Your soul. I see it glow around you. Is golden.” He giggles and scrunches his nose. “Is beautiful.”

You giggle, “you’re so cute.”

Taehyung kicks his feet, giggling even harder. It is contagious, making you giggle just as hard. You draw closer to exchange a hazy kiss. Taehyung cups your cheek for it, moaning softly. His heart races unbearably. 

You sit up afterwards and pick up the paint brush again, while Taehyung keeps gazing at you. It doesn’t take long for you to notice. You lower the brush a second time, studying him.

“Do you not wanna paint anymore?”

“Not right now. I’m so high.” He giggles, rolling to his back. “I see colours all around me.” 

You lay down on your stomach. Like this, you can kiss his forehead. His face is upside down for you, looking a little funny in the angle. You snicker, cradling his soft cheeks. Taehyung smiles at you goofily, wiggling his toes. 

You and he naturally fall into a kiss. Granted, it feels a little weird at first because of the peculiar angle but you make it work. You will always make it work when it means that you can kiss each other. 

Kissing when high is an otherworldly experience. It is as if your lips are genuinely in a dance, as if your tongues solely exist to taste the other, as if your love grows with each kiss. You are so aware of each second shared whilst at the same time feeling as if everything blurs together into a dream.  

Tonight it leaves you breathless, forcing you to break the kiss. Taehyung gasps louder than you, heavy eyes only staying open so he can look at you. 

“Was like our souls were dancing”, he whispers.

“Yeah, it was”, you agree, resting your forehead against the slope of his nose. “I’m far away, Tae.”

“Me too, so far away.” He writhes, reaching down to cup his cock. “Touch me, please.”

He whispered his words, tugging the fabric of his pants away. 

“What?” you breathe, glancing down at his cock. He is tugging and pulling at his pants, squeezing his legs together as best as possible.

It finally trickles into your foggy mind. This is one of his horny highs. Your kisses were already enough to turn him on. 

“Touch me, please.”

“I, I…yes. Oh my god, yes. Tae, yes”, you blabber, rounding him so you are next to his hips. 

He lifts them, letting you pull down his pants and briefs. His semi hard cock comes into vision, looking beautiful in the golden sunlight.

“Gosh you. Look at you. You’re so handsome.” 

Motivated by your praise, Taehyung pulls off his shirt next, looking at you with expectant puppy eyes.

“Wow Tae, you’re so beautiful”, you gasp, closing the distance by kissing his neck.

Taehyung sighs softly, rolling his head to the side. His skin tingles where you touch and kiss him, his heart races unbearably.

Your gentle fingers are tracing the paths of his torso, leaving goosebumps in their wake. It feels so good. To both of you. 

You trail the kisses to his chest, leaving gentle lovemarks wherever they feel right. He has such a pretty body, it would be a shame not to leave some art on it. Taehyung sighs more and more with each new mark you leave, letting the first moan of the day slip when you take his left nipple between your lips to lick it. 

His hand falls to the nape of your neck, rubbing you softly. His legs are restless. You hope to calm them down with touches to his inner thighs. 

“This is….ah…” he lets out, shuddering with his entire body. The combination of nippleplay and getting his thighs touched is very lethal to him. Especially when he is in such a droopy, sensitive state. 

“Is it nice for you?” you whisper as you kiss a path to his other nipple. It shouldn’t feel left out. 

“Yeah…nice”, he mewls, writhing sensually. 

Taehyung has such a pretty way of showing that he likes what is done to him. His body moves with such grace and in an almost artistic way. Sometimes, when the mood is right, you like to film him in these moments. He is such a natural in front of the camera that these little movies of passion always come out pretty. You would never show them to anyone. It is your little secret and you are very possessive over them.

“I love how you move, sweetheart”, you lull your words, painting a path of lovemarks down to his tummy. His hand slips from your neck like this, now laying beside his head and twitching each time you kiss an especially tender spot. “You’re so pretty. So, so pretty.”

You reached his lower stomach by now, mouth salivating at what was to come. You could tease him, rile him up, make him want your mouth like he wants air in his lungs. But the thing is? You don’t really want to wait yourself. The high you are on really makes you want to munch and right now, the only delicacy you need is his cock.

“Please, don’t tease me”, he begs instinctively, making you smile against his lower stomach. He is so cute.

“Why shouldn’t I?”

“Please, I-I need you.”

If only he knew that you weren’t planning on teasing him. You suck one last mark of love to his stomach then sit up.

“Look at me as I do it. Yeah?”

Taehyung obeys. He props himself up on his elbows, tensing his stomach a little to stay in the position. He is breathing so quickly, eyes slightly glassy and lips puffy from biting down on them.

“Good boy. Try to stay like this, okay?”

“Yes, I stay like this. I, I promise.”

“Good boy.”

You change positions quickly, climbing between his legs. You run your hands to his hips, holding them still as you lower yourself to his length.

Taehyung rolls his head back, moaning from the bottom of his heart. Sinking into your mouth is already incredible on normal days, but when he is high, it is unbelievable. Every single fiber in his cock exists solely for you, every second feels like warm heaven. Taehyung was never as aware of the texture of your tongue and cheeks than he is right now. 

“Fuck, this feels so good”, he whispers under his breath, making you chuckle around him because he rarely curses. If he does, he is either really angry or completely lost in pleasure. There is no in between. And judging by his glowing, pleasure filled face, it is latter right now. 

Motivated by his reaction, you sink him in deeper, keeping him there for as long as possible before your gag reflex sets in. You slip off of him, giving his flushed tip eager sucks and licks. 

“Ah, god”, Taehyung whimpers, dropping on the floor. He presses the back of his hand against his own mouth, closing it to a fist afterwards. “ah, mmhhhhm.”

“Is it nice?”

“So nice. Like a dream.” 

“I love your cock so much, sweetheart”, you lull, taking him back inside again. 

The way you suck cock might not be the most pornstar way of doing it, but it is real. Of course you want to blow his mind and give him shaking orgasms with your throat, but you also know your limits. You are just a normal woman and most normal, untrained people tend to have gag reflexes. You are no different. You go down as deep as you can manage and keep him there for as long as possible, switching it up with licks around his tip whenever you need to take a break. It is definitely not pornstar worthy, but it’s you and that’s pretty neat. 

Taehyung would agree. Oh my god, how he would agree. There is no other person on this earth who could make him feel so good. Granted, you are the only person he ever slept with because he was still a virgin when you met, but he knows for a fact that nobody could beat you. 

“This is so intense, I can’t breathe”, he moans.

“Need a break?” 

“No. No, just feels so good.”

“Mhm I love when you’re like this. It’s so sexy”, you purr, feeling ready to take him back inside again. 

Taehyung exhales shakily, sliding his fist to his forehead instead. His pretty lips look so, so pretty when he parts them like this. His cheeks are prettily flushed as well.

You slide off of him, giggling as you kiss his pretty cock.

“I keep thinking everything ‘bout you is pretty”, you confess, squeaking as you giggle. 

Taehyung automatically has to giggle with you, but this changes quickly into a mewl when you sink him back into your mouth. You try the sucking technique for a change, keeping the depth to a little under his tip. You relax your lips as well, letting them move around his cock whenever you pull back and slide down. 

“This. Please this. More of this, please”, Taehyung begs, sliding his hand to his hair to grab it. “Please don’t stop, please.”

You mewl around him, fulfilling his wish gladly. This is comfortable for you because it doesn’t trigger your gag reflex so you can do this for a long time. You are soooo ready to do this for him. He is moaning so much, squirming his hips in pleasure. 

You know that this feels so good for him and you want him to keep feeling this good. 

“___. Please don’t stop, please.” 

“Mhhm”, you purr in reassurance, adding your hands to the mix as well. You use your right hand to jerk off what you can’t fit, using your left hand to play with his perky nipples. 

Taehyung arches into your touch, moaning your name. His unoccupied hand automatically falls to the back of your head, but he doesn’t push. Of course he doesn’t, he would never. It just rests there and shakes so prettily while you drive him wild. 

“This is gonna make me cum. Please don’t stop”, he begs, writhing oh so prettily. 

You moan, shaking your head. It is your wordless promise that you will never ever stop this until he has enough. This is about him and he should know it. 

“Oh god, I’m so close”, he whimpers, curling his toes.

You can taste that he is close. He is starting to leak the most delicious pearls of precum on your tongue, pairing it with eager throbs of his length. You lick and suck them off hungrily, moaning around him.

“___ oh my god, ___”, he is panting, barely getting his words out. “Can I, I cum in your mouth, ple-please?”

You nod your head in consent, taking him in a little bit deeper to make it more intense for him. You pinch and rub his nipple, sending electricity straight to his cock.

“Oh god, thank- ah! A-ah!”

Quite frankly, there is no better feeling than experiencing him as you work him up to an orgasm. He gets so vocal, so whiney and restless. It is beautiful. It feels like a dream today. It leaves you so high, in more ways than one.

“I’m cumming”, he croaks and squeaks, releasing inside your mouth in warm spurts of his cum.

You purr, drinking it up happily and caressing his restless hip as he thrusts into you against his will. You keep your lips relaxed for it, holding your head at the perfect height to keep it comfortable for you while still allowing him the freedom to thrust. Taehyung thanks you with highest and cutest moans ever, scratching your scalp softly as his fingers keep twitching on your head.

He needs seven uncoordinated thrusts and then he drops, forcing his cock to flap out of your mouth. It slaps against his stomach, throbbing softly as it recovers.

“Oh god, wow”, he gets out, writhing from side to side. He buries his own hands in his hair, sniffling vividly.

And while he recovers from his intense high, you kiss a path up his torso until you are mouth to mouth. Taehyung hooks his arms behind your head, pulling you into a sloppy, yet slow kiss. He licks the remnants of his orgasm out of your mouth, whimpering quietly. He loves tasting himself on your tongue. Especially when he is high with you and the real world seems so far away. He is in a dream, he really is.

“This felt so good”, he whispers between kisses, “I was so far gone.”

“Mhhm me too. It was just you for me right now.”

“Yeah, mh-hm yeah. Just you. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Oh god, I’m still shaky”, he says and pulls you against him to find warmth this way. You hug him tightly, sitting on his lap and squeezing your chest against his’.

“I’m here, sweetheart. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Oh god, I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Wow”, he sighs and giggles, giving you a little squeeze, “I love being high with you.”

“Me too. I feel so good.”

“Yeah…” he grins goofily, “so good.”

[asarigg]

Body for Sale: a second reading of a disturbing past (csa)

Well, this part of the essay is the one where I imply a possible sexual assault towards Koujaku when he was a teenager, but since I was hesitant at first of talking more about it because I didn't want to be insensitive I made it shorter than originally intended. I was encouraged to expand a little bit on it, so I edited it. Since the post is already kinda long, I thought of doing a separate post for those interested. Please don't hesitate to correct me if you deem it needed.

I’ve sometimes wondered if there was some sort of sexual abuse on Ryuuhou’s part towards Koujaku. Nothing is implied canonically, at least physically, but the erotic connotations of the story of the tattoo artist he’s based on, the sadism, the drugging in order to do something non-consensually, and his constant references to love make me think of it happening on a symbolic level. I think it’s obvious that Ryuuhou loves Koujaku, in his own way, as his creation, and he’s talking about love at first sight and the similarity of love and hate. Besides, the way Koujaku acts can be easily associated with it.

Even though he appears to be charming and flirty, he actually has a very low self-esteem, seeing himself as worthless, dirty, and constantly self-blaming for what happened. His tattoo being his shame and filth, something he doesn’t want to taint Aoba with, works just as an allegory of victims so commonly feeling guilty and dirty (causing them to shower more regularly than before in an attempt to wash it away). He shows unconformity when Aoba wants to touch him in bed (something that with time and the support of a loved one gets a little better), and when he tries to touch and wash away his dirt, his shame, his tattoo, Koujaku jumps at contact, which could also be interpreted as having a flashback as part of his ptsd.

All the anger he feels inside could also be part of the consequences. And he mostly shows his hatred towards Ryuuhou, even though his father is supposedly still alive and was the one who did the most damage to them, especially his mother, whom he cared about the most. At the end of the day Ryuuhou “just” did the tattoo and his father has been treating them like that for years. So why does he tunnel all his rage only to him? Budget and time limit reasons? Maybe, but in this essay we’re not taking that. Obviously Ryuuhou was the one that made him lose it, torturing him ever since the beginning only to anger him, ultimately causing the death of his mother. Maybe he was too used to see his father being aggressive with them, something to be expected, kind of like how it's established that men are more violence driven and women are emotion driven. But it can also be read as the response Koujaku had to a possible abuse. Physical punishment was to be expected, but sexual abuse?

Ryuuhou took advantage of his situation, to stop him from resisting he could always use his mother. We’ve already seen Ryuuhou being referenced as male and Koujaku as the female counterpart, being lovers and enemies at the same time, with the female being associated with the powerless, abused victim, submissive, and being controlled by the male, as disgusting as it sounds. Ever since he was tattooed his body did not belong to him anymore, Ryuuhou made sure to mark his body and mind so that he could never forget him. He could have found refuge in his religious practices as well.

There’s always stigma around these cases, and the stigma around male victims makes it especially harder for them to speak about what happened to them. That sense of powerlessness, of losing control, of being less of a man, causing them having trouble with their identity, all of it is wrapped in toxic masculinity. And all of this is seen in Koujaku. He keeps all his feelings for himself, feeling distant from other people and engaging in a lonely way of life.

There are people that report having trouble with their relationships with others not only because of the trauma that happened to them, but also out of fear of doing that very same thing to someone else.

This traumatic event usually makes victims apprehensive of any sexual activity, but there’s a considerable large number of victims that, opposite to this, develop hypersexuality. His sexual life is more important to Koujaku's character than it may seem at first (like it's just a quirk of him), he sees his body as a tool for the pleasure of others, meanwhile his own pleasure is not important. He developed an unhealthy way of interacting with others, therefore he developed unhealthy sexual practices. This view of him being sort of a prostitute isn’t so far away. Flame Willow, the part of Platinum Jail they end in, pretty much looks like a red light district. It’s introduced as a place for “passionate folks to get their thrills”, an euphemism. Not only it looks visually similar to a red light district, but the name of this area also directly references the red light district: Yoshiwara. This district had a willow tree at the entrance, which grew popular because clients would look back to it when they left. The "Flame" talks about the two great fires the district suffered, one in 1657, which made it change its location, and one in 1913, which almost destroyed it completely.

He also smokes and drinks, which are not talked about a lot as an addiction to cope with his pain. In the Drama CD though they do talk about it as a way to escape the stress he’s facing because of the Tamaokuri, so we can assume that he uses these two and possibly developed an addiction, wanting to drink until blacking out to forget for a moment.

Even if the sexual abuse didn’t happen canonically, the metaphor is as close as it can be, so it’s in your hands how you want to see it. Even if it’s hard to talk about something like this, I really like how this was built, because something that isn’t sexual abuse (at least canonically, and I wonder if the allegory was intentional or not) actually feels like it, something that changed a person’s entire life, his perception of himself and the people he interacts with, an event with an actual weight, something I missed from literally any actual SA scene that we got in the rest of the game.

[haoboutyou]

hi!! ur mornings with u with wonu fic is so so so sweet ahhhh 😭😭 i was wondering if you’d be open to writing a seungkwan version? i hope this is okay to ask!!

to love to the point of invention | boo seungkwan

fluff | 574 words | food mention: a lot of tangerines

an: fren i’m so sorry this took awhile!! you must understand i wrote two entirely different drabbles and then made @bluehoodiewoozi choose 😔🫶 thank u for reading the wonu fic!! hope you enjoy this one too 👉👈

wonu ver. | coups ver.

a weekend trip to jeju-do meant that your little apartment was now stocked up with a whole carton of tangerines enough to last you a whole month. naturally, you’ve learned to get creative with it. cake, sorbet, marmalade– you name it, you’ve probably already done it.

maybe that’s why you’ve resorted to scrolling through pinterest for ideas. all you’ve found so far are just even more variants of the aforementioned desserts.

sorbet.

cake.

marmalade.

repeat.

you sigh, looking up from your spot in the kitchen. seungkwan’s seated on the sofa, nose buried deep in a book he bought at the jeju airport before your flight back earlier this morning. it may have been 4pm now, but his hair is still a little mussed from accidentally taking a nap in the plane earlier. you giggle to yourself, inwardly cooing over how your boyfriend looks like a teddy bear.

oh. a light bulb dings in your mind.

this time, you carefully carve out a little bear head, arms and feet out of the peel. it sticks out of the tangerine like a little round teddy bear.

“seungkwan!”

the pitter-patter of your feet causes him to look up from his book, nestled comfortably on the sofa. setting aside the book, he gestures you to take a seat next to him.

you tuck in your legs under you on the sofa, all while balancing a plate with your hands. the sweet scent of tangerines flood his senses. you’re grinning at him, proudly showing off your latest work of art as you extend the plate towards him.

“is that a bear?” you nod enthusiastically.

he tilts his head as he takes the plate from you, rotating it and examining the poor tangerine from all angles. he scrunches his nose and frowns, much like a highly-established critic judging actual artworks. it doesn’t take long for him to break out into a grin as big as yours.

he holds the tangerine-bear to his face. “how is it? do we match?”

“100%!”

“aigo, our y/nnie is such a talented artist!!” he balances the plate on one hand, swinging his free arm around you to pull you into a hug.

“–eek!”

the sudden momentum causes you both to fall back on the sofa, you landing on top of him. it’s a miracle that the plate hasn’t spilled over, you think.

your little yelp draws a giggle from seungkwan, and soon enough, you’re both doubled over with laughter.

laughter finally bubbling down, you pull yourself away from seungkwan’s cozy embrace. you take the plate from seungkwan and set it down on the coffee table in front of you.

“did you like it?”

he leans in to plant a peck on your cheek. “it’s adorable. i love it.”

“great, because i made like five more in the kitchen!”

his jaw comically drops at your words, and it only serves to make you laugh even harder. instead, he chooses to wipe your diabolical grin with a kiss, effectively silencing you. he grabs onto your waist, pulling you in once again as he leaned back down on the sofa. wrapping your arms around his neck, you can only succumb to his addictive lips as they chase after yours fervorously.

is this what they call to ‘love to the point of invention’? you shrug off such a silly thought. surely that’s not marvel enough to be called an invention of love.

maybe you’ll try making tanghulu tomorrow.

[euphoricfilter]

Can I request a drabble with Yoonji? If so, could it be a fluffy flower shop/tattoo parlour au with "I don't think anyone could ever be as lovely as you.", please? Thank you! 💜

summer mornings and strawberries:

pairing: tattoo artist! yoonji (yoongi) x f. reader

genre: fluff || non-idol au || cisswap || established relationship

summary: sometimes it's hard to put your love for someone into words

word count: 1.2k

tags/ warnings: fluff, wlw, goth gf yoonji x pastel princess m/c (you know that’s right), minor suggestive content but no real smut

notes: women <3 this one felt harder to keep in the 1k boundary because they’re both just so cute :( i might write a short sequel for mommy yoonji since it wouldn't fit into this part if people are interested

drabble requests are closed

drabble masterlist || my main masterlist

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

“Over here, baby” 

You perk up, Jimin long forgotten as your girlfriend waves you over from her office. 

“Sorry, Minnie” you brush him off as you skip into Yoonji’s arms, completely ignorant to the fact she keeps eye contact with the receptionist as she presses a sweet kiss to your cheek. 

Jimin snorts, eyes flickering down to your skirt that barely covers your ass. 

Your mouth falls open into a gasp as Yoonji grabs the meat of your thigh, teasing in the way she knows has arousal slicking up your panties. You always had been easy to rile up. 

“You’re late” she murmurs, hairs on the back of your neck standing on end as her breath tickles your cheek. 

“The shop was quite busy today,” you tell her as she kicks the door to her office closed, tattoo equipment already set up for you. 

“You should really tell your boss you can’t do overtime” 

You frown, “But she says I’m the best at bouquets” 

“I’m sure you are the best, my love. Now take a seat, I canceled my next appointment so we can spend the afternoon together” 

“You didn’t have to do that” you giggle, sweater shucked off on the floor somewhere that she picks up, folding it over the back of her chair as you settle down. 

“I don’t wanna hear any of that” 

“Yes ma’am” you mock salute. 

Her eyebrows furrow, silent offer to be a brat, though by now she knows you’re aware of the consequences. 

Her chair kicks backwards as she leans down for a kiss. Purposeful as her lips mold with yours, barely enough room for either of your to breathe until she’s pulling back, and your pink blush is hiding the red that coats your cheeks rosy. 

You’d always found something so utterly mesmerizing about Yoonji, her beauty that of a black dahlia, though you think she was more of a pink rose; gentle. 

Someone you aspired to be, so confident in her own skin, she knew exactly what she wanted, and made sure she got it. 

Sometimes it felt like you couldn’t word exactly how you felt about her, ‘love’ perhaps an umbrella term for all the little things you adored about her mere existence. No amount of flowers with lovely meanings, or poems about undying love that you write in little notes for customers (that had definitely been stolen from the internet), is never truly enough. 

Your friends had drilled the idea in their heads that Yoonji was reserved, and didn’t know how to show her love the right way, ‘cold’ even. A word you had never, and will never use to describe her. 

Because it seemed like she knew how to show her love for you, better than you did for her. 

The world had always had a split view on the term ‘opposites attract’, that you’re good for each other until you’re in a relationship, and then it all goes to shit because you’re two very different people. 

Yoonji never minded how you blasted your music over her speakers, the music she would overwise despise if it weren’t you. Just like how you never liked the hard-hitting rap she absolutely loved, though hummed along as she cleaned the house. 

She never minded how your clothes had split up the blacks of her hoodies and jeans in the closet, or the cute little bedspread you insisted on having because you didn’t like her grey one.

Or how the counter in the bathroom had been permanently doused in glittery eyeshadow. Where shampoo smelt of warm summer mornings and strawberries, instead of muted and never-really-there comfort. Your existence now a permanent fixture in her, no, your home.

It felt as though Yoonji worshipped your very existence, held you in her hands, delicate like you were a daisy, or a gentle buttercup. 

Your person that you couldn’t imagine a future without.

Her art is forever inked into your skin, art that no one else in the world will ever have because maybe tattoos were one of her love languages. Something in your heart squeezing, emotions mushy, that make you want to gush like you were in high school again when you catch a glimpse of her work etched into your skin in the mirror. The work she had spent hours designing specifically for you. 

Yoonji didn’t mind initiating physical contact, something you’d always shied away from, something she’d taught you was okay to want, that yearning wasn’t bad. That touch is just many of the languages of love that the both of you shared.

She liked to cook or take you on picnics in the summer, watching you twirl in dresses made of satin, or smudge your lipstick with a kiss before she helps you reapply it. Only to kiss you again. 

She calls you pretty and loved your body in ways that showed you self-love wasn’t selfish. Because if she could love you, then it shouldn’t be impossible to love yourself.

Yoonji kissed you under the stars and liked how the moon made you shine like a delicate fairy, always so beautiful in her eyes. She held your hand while you ordered food, and visits you during her lunch breaks with coffee and cakes or little sandwiches cut into triangles. 

Every little brush of her fingers over your bare skin had been etched into your mind, hours spent apart missing her even though you knew you’d be going home to your apartment, greeted with a kiss that always has you melting into her chest. 

Over the years your love language had morphed into your job just like hers, and Yoonji found it endearing how you’d come home with flowers for her, test runs for the shop's new theme though you seem to always keep her in mind as you hone your craft. 

And as much as you worried that you were never enough, always so consumed by thoughts she knew were pointless, Yoonji loved you nonetheless. 

“I don’t think anyone could be as lovely as you,” she tells you one evening, your head resting on her thighs, careful as she brushes your hair after you’ve both taken a shower together. 

You blink up at her, tongue wetting your bottom lip, “You’re a lot lovelier than I am” 

“Not true” she laughs, thumb rubbing over your jaw, “Besides, you’re the only one that sees me like this” 

“Is it selfish that I like it that way?” 

She hums, tucking her hair behind her ear, sharp eyes never straying away from yours. “It’s okay to be selfish, you know” 

“When it comes to you, I don’t mind” you smile, rolling onto your stomach. 

You blink up at her through your lashes. 

Her lips quirking upwards, always finding it hard not to smile when she’s with you, “I love you, flower” 

“I really love you too” you smile, “And I think I’ll love you forever” 

She tilts her head, “That’s a long time. Think you can put up with me for that long?” 

“As long as you can put up with me for that long, then I don’t mind” 

“You act as though you’re hard to put up with” she pushes your hair out of your face, leaning down to press a kiss to your lips, then your cheek, nose, then each eyelid as you lean into the palm of her hand that cups your cheek. 

“Forever, then” you whisper, eyes barely open as you chase her lips for another kiss. 

She hums, “Forever it is”

[ae-azile]

Progression: Chapter 29 Preview

While Chay does work this evening, he may have lied about why he needed to leave for his shift early.

“There is an event,” Chay says to Kim, which is true, “I am going in to help set up and make sure new bottles are at the bar. I’ll be back late.”

Kim buys it. None of it is a lie, but there is an omission of one, single truth. If the circumstances were different, Chay would have no issues with telling Kim he's meeting Ye Joon. But Kim is weird about him, and Chay isn't sure if it comes from a persistent insecurity, a past experience with another producer, or something more complex than either of those things. If Ye Joon wasn't a respected producer and shareholder at the label Chay is now working under, he feels like he would pull away since Kim has such an issue with him. But he is a respected producer and shareholder, one who is involved with big international stars and bands.

And for some reason, he has taken an interest in Chay and his talent. Kim’s as well, but Kim doesn't really need Ye Joon’s support. He's already made it. With the new album, Kim’s place in the music industry will only become more monumental. Chay is still new, and while being featured on Kim’s album is a big deal, it still might not establish him as a separate talent.

At least, that's what Ye Joon says. But Ye Joon has been a powerhouse in the industry for twenty years. He knows what he is talking about. If he thinks Chay is worth putting work into, then he is going to be grateful for that and not mess it up. Kim should understand that.

But Chay also feels like Kim would make a big deal about him going to Ye Joon’s apartment. It was there or the studio, and Ye Joon made a good point about how bad traffic gets downtown around this time. Ye Joon’s apartment is also close to Yok’s, so it made more sense to meet there.

Kim probably wouldn't see it that way, but it will be fine. Chay knows it.

“Right on time,” Ye Joon says, smiling as he lets Chay inside. It's a nice, luxury apartment, one that is only half unpacked. Despite that, Ye Joon has two wine glasses out filled halfway and candles lit.

…Maybe he just likes soft, warm lighting. Kim is the same way.

“Here,” Ye Joon says, putting his hand on the small of Chay’s back as he leads him over to the couch, “Sit.”

Chay does what he's told and runs his hands over his knees as Ye Joon sits down next to him, “You said you wanted to talk to me about an opportunity?”

Ye Joon nods and reaches over to grab a binder, “I heard Kim doesn't have much interest in acting, but I was wondering what your stance on it was.”

“Oh,” Chay says, then tries to think out what he wants to say before actually saying it. He can sing songs in English easily, but speaking in it is a little harder. It isn't as natural for him as it seems to be for Kim.

Maybe he can ask for English lessons next. Kim keeps telling him his English is completely understandable and fine, but the fact that he has to script out longer responses in his head probably means he needs to work on it more.

“I don't know. I haven't given it much thought. I always did school musicals growing up and got prominent roles in them. I did acting workshops at performing arts camps my brother saved up for and sent me to. I got good feedback. My main interest has always been music though.”

“So you would be open to an acting opportunity if it caught your interest and could further advance your music career?” Ye Joon asks, then hands over the binder, “Because I have a partnership with a production and artist management company here. We are developing a few projects to include international up and comers. While I did throw Kim’s name around for another project, Noel made it clear Kim had no current interest in such a venture. But you are your own person, and I see you as someone who is…more suitable for this particular project. It would be a Thai and Korean based project-”

“I only know a little Korean,” Chay cuts in.

Ye Joon shrugs his shoulders, “You don't need to know much. The character I would have in mind for you is Thai and primarily speaks it. His love interest is a tourist from Korea, so he would need to brush up on his Thai and English, but your language skills are where they would need to be for this role.”

“He,” Chay says, “So it's a BL?”

“They are very popular in this country,” Ye Joon says, “Korea is just starting to realize the potential in funding and marketing shows focused on same sex pairings, but they aren't as…daring with it. The shows here seem to be unafraid to cross that boundary. The actors go all out and aren't afraid of the more provocative scenes. Many of the actors have also entered the music industry, either while acting or they transition to the music industry after developing a fanbase. This show would feature a well-known actor from Korea. He's a bit older than you - mid 30s - but that's what the script calls for. I don't want to throw his name out there yet, but I guarantee you have likely seen his work. He's wanting to do something more…unexpected. Dark. He's normally cast as a leading man, but wants to make some waves. Sometimes, that includes some onscreen controversy. Seeing him cast with a younger man as his love interest would get a lot of people talking in Korea. But it's a great script, and he will need a costar around your age with great musical abilities. If you play the part just right, he won't be the only one everyone is talking about.”

“...Oh,” Chay says, then clears his throat, “Uh…I can take it back with me and read it, if you want. Maybe see how I feel-” 

“A read-through would be more immersive, with you reading as the character I have in mind for you,” Ye Joon interjects, his voice gentle but commanding, “We don't have to read the whole thing, of course. I respect that you are still loyal to your other workplace for the time being, even if I don't fully understand it. But I do understand it is important to be punctual. I think we have time for half though. So why don't we get started?"

[deancasbigbang]

Title: The Things We Leave behind

Author: Briston

Artist: Merv (fruitmixtape)

Rating: Mature

Pairings: Dean/Cas

Length: 52000

Warnings: minor character death, discussion of historical child abuse, substance use disorder.

Tags: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Divorce Arc, Bad Parent John Winchester, Alcohol Abuse, Rehab, Discussion of Cheating, Alcoholic Dean Winchester, Recovering Alcoholic Dean Winchester

Posting Date: October 31, 2023

Summary: Cas has been getting progressively worried about Dean’s drinking for a while but mentioning it only causes tension in their marriage. The sudden death of Dean’s father brings everything to the breaking point. After a particularly bad fight, his husband seeks solace in whiskey and flirty women in the aftermath. When Cas finds out, he decides he’s had his fill, packs his bags, and leaves. Sam lives in California and has built a career as a well respected addictions counselor. When Cas calls to tell him that Dean is missing on a bender and their marriage is likely over, he drops everything to come to Kansas to find his brother. Dean clearly needs help. Sam convinces him to go with him to California and go through a rehab program. Dean only agrees because Cas refuses to have anything to do with him unless he stops drinking permanently. If he can't, their marriage is finished. Along the way, Sam and Dean discover that their father left them with more than just painful memories of a traumatic childhood. Their half-brother Adam might be exactly who they need to help pull all the fractured pieces together. Cas is giving Dean one last chance to turn things around. Nothing is easy, but maybe it’s still worth fighting for.

Excerpt: “You know the only difference that would have made was that you would be as miserable as he was.” Cas grabbed both of their toothbrushes and toothpaste from the ensuite bathroom, tossing Dean’s his way. “I could’ve tried harder to get him to quit, go to rehab or something.” The toiletries went in the bag with some deodorant, a flannel, and some denim. He shot Cas a dirty look when he heard him huff in exasperation. “How many times did you ask him to quit? Remember when Sam flew in for an intervention? He’s a professional addictions counselor and the only thing that happened was that Sam flew home with a black eye and a refusal to ever come back.” “That’s just because they’re too much alike and can’t stop themselves from fighting.” Dean was starting to raise his voice. Cas wasn’t having any of it. “No,” he knew he sounded snarky as shit but was so very tired of having the same argument about John Winchester’s parenting skills. “It’s because your father is a narcissistic asshole with undiagnosed mental health issues that he self-medicates with whiskey.” Dean walked around the bed to where Cas was and grabbed his arm. The grip wasn’t rough but it wasn’t gentle either. His green eyes were anguished and pleading.   “Don’t say that, he could be dying right now.” Somewhere deep down Cas knew he should be feeling guilty about just how little empathy he had for John right then. He’d feel more compassion for a complete stranger than he did for the man who had hurt Dean again and again, both as a child and as an adult. He felt a small flash of resentment at having to defend Dean from his own negative thinking. “It was always going to be this way with him, Dean. Every counselor you’ve ever had has told you the same thing for years. You are not responsible for fixing him. Don’t kill yourself trying to be accepted by someone who doesn’t even deserve you.”

DCBB 2023 Posting Schedule

[bookwyrminspiration]

Call me out if I’m wrong here, but I feel like sometimes, when you’re in this fandom, there’s a lot of contradictory?

I feel like not that long ago people were upset that others were saying they didn’t like something, so wording changed.

I do believe that we should be honest on whether or not we like something (while being kind/gracious about it), but that might be the reason why some people are more nervous to just come out and say it?

Again I may be so incredibly wrong; I’ve been dipping my toes in and out of the fandom for a while now.

I think you have a valid point. There's a lot of people in the fandom, and we have different opinions, some of which contradict each other. Sometimes one view dominates, then the other. We vacillate and change, which is only natural.

Regarding the recent wording change, I'm not sure what specific thing that was in response to--there was some conversation in the vein of "if you don't like it, why are you here?" Which was more in response to the overwhelming negativity the series has started to accrue with the long interims, its current direction, and fans getting older. The sort of "people don't want to hear about how much you hate the thing they love." Even if you've established yourself as a fan of it previously.

Which I think can coexist alongside simply saying you don't like something. I can say the new cover isn't really hitting for me without tearing it apart and making those who really enjoy it feel bad, you know? I don't mind it, understand why it's like that, and appreciate Jason Chan's artistic prowess, but that doesn't make it interesting to look at.

But you're right, there's been this push to justify why you dislike things, at least in online spaces. So it's harder/makes people nervous to say "I just don't like this." Myself included. Instead it's "this was rushed" "this was last minute" "Shannon's publishers are pressuring her" "her editor's are pressuring her" etc.

Which, again, is entirely possible. Writing and publishing is hard; it takes a lot of work and pleasing the industry isn't easy. But there are points where--I think--people approach it with bad faith.

To use the cover as an example again, a lot of people are saying it's rushed. Possible. But is there a history of rushing covers? Not that we've seen, all the others have been spectacular, detailed, and thorough. What would they gain by rushing it? They could meet deadlines sooner, have something to share with the audience since we're in a weird period. But they could also damage their marketing with a subpar product, especially given the series' popularity. Why do we think the cover looks rushed? Its simplicity, its different mood. But, again, Shannon said that was intentional. There's Keefe's appearance, which is really hit or miss for people. I don't think Keefe not looking as attractive as people imagine/want is a result of rushing, but because there's an impossible standard for him as The Boy of the series. And so on and so forth.

The point of that being we've come to this conclusion, I think, hastily. While book 9.5 wasn't the original plan so of course timelines change, I don't think S&S has a history or motive to rush. There's already an established precedent for delays when necessary, the cover came out later than others, and there's (i think) a solid, purposeful reason the mood is different.

Could I be wrong? Absolutely. But the rapidity of the conclusion and with how much it feels we've been outsourcing our dislike the past few years I'm started to feel a little skeptical. Boy who cried wolf kinda thing. Was it rushed again, or do we just not like it? Feels like a slapstick explanation without further examination

And of course you don't have to analyze everything, but some things are a bit more complex, you know?

Point is: I think we're overusing these explanations (pressured, rushed) and at this point if we don't delve further into it it starts to lose its meaning. There is an argument for being rushed and pressured! But without getting into it, I can't tell if we're thinking it through or just avoiding saying we don't like something for fear of judgment/reprisal.

[genericpuff]

What makes a comic good in your eyes? And what makes it bad?

Oof, that's a BIG question that I can't exactly give one single answer to. There are a ton of factors. For me the biggest thing is writing, while the art might be a turnoff if it isn't polished in the beginning, it's still not a dealbreaker for me, I've read tons of comics that started off still figuring out their art (and that's the beauty of webcomics, really). It's when the writing isn't interesting or good that I tend to drop off. Maybe the plot doesn't make sense or takes too long to establish what it's trying to do, maybe the jokes feel forced or poorly written.

I think writing tends to sort of take an unintentional backseat in webcomics, and it just comes with the territory. Tons of online artists naturally come up with their own characters that they want to write stories for, so they gravitate towards webcomics. Whereas writers - even online ones - don't tend to see webcomics as the default, they'll usually end up in the fanfiction circles or on Wattpad or even just ditching the online format entirely and going straight into trad publishing. It's why there are so many writers looking for artists in the webcomic community, you won't find artists looking for writers quite so much because they usually wind up using webcomics as an entry point into writing. Writers can't use webcomics as an entry point into drawing quite as well, there's a LOT more upfront work into learning how to draw vs. learning how to write (but writing is ultimately harder to master, knowing how to write scenes on the page doesn't necessarily mean you're writing those scenes well).

So I find more often than not the writing ends up being a dealbreaker for me. Art gets me interested enough to take a peek, but the writing is what keeps me invested, so if the writing isn't sound, I'm probably not gonna stick with it. If a comic does feel like it isn't written (or even drawn) up to what I would define as "good", I try to identify what exactly what's wrong with it, not just so I can better understand why it isn't working, but so I can implement that understanding into my own work. It's not just learning what works in a comic, it's also learning what doesn't work.

Still, I try to distinguish between whether a comic is "good or bad" vs. whether or not it's even meant for me. I've definitely read comics in the past that didn't click with me but I could totally see why people liked it, it just didn't appeal to what I was looking for or my humor or whatever. Some comics are objectively great and they just don't connect with me, like Scoob & Shag, Homestuck, etc. where I can respect why people like them, I just like, couldn't get into them no matter how many times I tried LMAO And then some comics are objectively not great and I enjoy them anyways, like Deep Fried Pudge, which is literally just a daily single panel dad-humor-full-of-puns comic, it had no right being in my subscription list when I was still on Tapas but something about it was so charming to me. I feel bad even calling it "bad" because it's not trying to be anything, it's just this humble little passtime project that someone started and never stopped. And I mean it has not stopped updating since 2012, every time I check in on it I'm astounded to see it's STILL going at 4,036 episodes. I have no idea what power the person who makes this possesses but they will surely outlive us all, I can only rationalize its existence as the closest I've ever been to perceiving God.

[topconfessions]

Hey, it’s me again, Italian anon! GRAZIE for the warm welcome, you’re way too nice!

I’m back to chat about that long-awaited interview and get some thoughts from you and the other regulars here.

Disclaimer: these are just my personal takes, I’m not out here claiming to be the voice of reason or anything. Think of this as my little stream-of-consciousness moment, like James Joyce or Virginia Woolf but with less finesse (and more chaos).

Fair warning: brevity is not my strong suit, but I’ll try to keep this as snappy as I can.

First thing that stands out to me? Once again, the dude’s communication is all over the place. Does this guy even have a PR team? Like, seriously. Back in 2020, he announces he’s retiring from the industry (news to me, btw). Then, four years later, he pops up in one of the most anticipated shows on the planet. And sure, it’s totally valid to change your mind, but shouldn’t you at least explain that to people so it doesn’t feel like a total curveball?

Is this about redemption? Reconciliation? A fresh start? Money? Because honestly, he’s said a lot without really saying anything. It’s classic T.O.P, isn’t it? I was hoping he’d come mentally and strategically prepared this time, ready to face the music, give some clarity, and offer answers beyond vague comments about “lost time.” But nope, he’s leaving his whole vibe open to wild interpretations again.

I get it, re-establishing a connection with the outside world after years in isolation isn’t easy. But it’s even harder when you keep doing… nothing. Like, I’m genuinely happy he’s been working on music during these seven years, and I hope we hear it soon, but why not share a little bit here and there with the people who’ve been wondering if you’re okay? And now, in this interview, he apparently chose not to drop any info about other projects either.

This ambiguity just feeds more criticism, the same kind he says he doesn’t want to hear anymore. Which brings me to a quick side note: the idea of “normality” with zero criticism? Yeah, that’s a fantasy, for anyone, let alone a public figure. This, to me, says a lot about where he’s at mentally and emotionally.

Look, I get it. Wanting to avoid criticism feels like a way to protect yourself. But avoiding something doesn’t mean solving it. Fame amplifies everything: the highs, but also the lows. If, at 40, T.O.P still hasn’t developed the tools to handle that pressure, it’s no surprise he’s stuck in this vicious cycle where fame sustains and destroys him at the same time.

And sure, he’s mentioned depression and other struggles before, but where’s the follow-up? What has he actually done to address these issues? Awareness is crucial, but without concrete actions, it can come off as self-indulgent. And let’s be real, people are way more open to mental health conversations now. I’m sure everyone here gets the need for time and space to heal, but the lack of transparency leaves this awkward gap. Has he worked with therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists? If so, why not normalize it by talking about it? It’s way more effective than vague comments about eating healthy and exercising. Come on, man, seriously?

After years of silence, he’s missed a golden opportunity to bridge the gap between his past and present. This could’ve been a thoughtful reintroduction, a way to share his personal and artistic growth. Instead, we got… well, nothing. Silence might feel like a safe strategy, but it doesn’t rebuild reputations or forge new connections.

His approach suggests an inability to handle the complexity of his own choices. He’s clinging to this “protective bubble” that might’ve worked in isolation but falls apart in an industry as public as his. Without crafting a fresh, powerful narrative, every move he makes feels random and disconnected.

Joining Squid Game 2 is a massive step. But without a proper game plan to manage everything else around it, it’s like building a house on quicksand. Being there isn’t enough, he needs to explain why he’s back, what he wants to do, how he plans to do it, and what his relationship with his supporters looks like now.

He’s not the first person to face a public comeback. Just look at Britney Spears, Joaquin Phoenix, Adele, Dave Chappelle, Rihanna, Eminem, Hayley Williams… they all managed to create a bridge between their personal struggles and professional lives. Why not take a page from their playbook?

And then there’s that ring he’s been wearing for a while, the one with the year “1967” engraved on it. Could it represent something deeply personal? Maybe a tribute to a family member, mentor, or a major event? Or could it tie back to his love for art and culture? (1967 was a huge year for music, counterculture, and the Summer of Love.) Who knows?

I’m sure more articles will drop soon, and maybe they’ll change my perspective entirely (fingers crossed). Until then, all I can do is hope that he finds a way to tell his story more openly and authentically.

https://m.entertain.naver.com/article/018/0005926044

What do you think? Did I miss anything? Or am I way off?

This was a brilliant answer and you stated it beautifully. I'm going to see if I can pin this if possible. Overall you stated it perfectly and that's exactly his problem. I agree, love him and I hate this for him, but he said a whole lot of nothing and kept it as vague as possible minus a lot of highlighting the depressive parts. He doesn't want the negativity and criticism but invities it in cause of Hang Man tarot card behavior and energy with not doing anything, not responding, not getting ahead of the curve, not being engaged with the public and having bizzare behavior that warrants people especially Koreans to judge him. The public in Korea are extreme for going in on him like that but he allows it and furthers it. Only people like Michael Jackson can behave so oddly and isolate themselves then come back whenever they want with such expectations. He's dead but shit that man got accused of touching boys but he defended himself the whole way through and actually went on a tour and still made an album, he didn't half ass it either like he could have so there is no excuse for top.

Also, he should've spoken up for himself and requested a better script and character cause it's likr then Director set him up if this is true and I feel like they're lying to us for real. I'm sorry but its giving two friends who agreed on this narrative of it being a set character before with him in mind to cover and explain it all.

Thank you so much for providing the links.

And no, I don't believe he has a PR team. I'm wondering if these actors and idols even hire PR or reps since most are under an agency with the agency taking care of that.

[mdhwrites]

I Will Never Be a Hoyocreator Because I Am a Writer

This somewhat a lamentation more than it is even criticism of Hoyo or even myself. It's not even saying that I couldn't potentially care enough about any of their games to do more stories for them. I'd love for people to submit story ideas for Fuqing, Bronseele, Zhuyabi, Guishang, etc. because I have lots and lots of pairings I like and there are just fun elements of their worlds that I could play with if I got pulled just a little harder.

No, it's more that Hoyo has no interest in its writing community from what I can tell. As an example, the GIANT creator competition that had animations, art, comics, etc... Didn't include writing. They did a 3D modeling focused one for Penacony. Still no writing. Hoyofair has no writing component. As far as I know, writers are simply not a part of the official Hoyocreator tag, to the point where one artist I've followed has reminded his fans that they need to show more respect to the fanfic writers of the community.

Unfortunately, it's not surprising. At all. On a lot of levels. It's pretty much all business but different angles. The first is bang for your buck. Currently, very few, if any, social media platforms really incentivize long form writing. They're almost all much more geared towards more visual, immediate forms of creation, to the point that the one that spooked all the others was the one who has like a cap of two minutes? What the fuck is a writer supposed to do with that besides like two paragraphs narrated? For a company like Hoyo who works with these creators, artists, video creators and even singers are simply a better investment for getting people into your games.

Second is just how good is writing as a marketing tool? How many of you read fanfiction of things you don't already know about? Even with official books, how many people's first introduction to Star Wars were its books? Or Halo or Magic, etc.? Written works within a universe are commonly pretty fucking insular and more for those dedicated to the work. You're not going to really use it effectively as an add, unlike this. (And yes, this is a real ad that plays on Youtube for Zenless. That's not me throwing shade, just that I first found it because of it being an ad.)

And if you're going "It doesn't matter if it's a good story," well... Are you calling all of my works bad stories? Because getting someone into a work for an established property they aren't already into is just like trying to get them into an original story and despite a LOT of people loving my fanfiction, it has never translated to mass migration to my original works. That's because without that immediate connection and incentive of it being a world and characters you already know and love, the barrier to say yes is DRASTICALLY higher.

The third big reason is legal. While fancomics can run into this a bit too, most companies just straight up aren't supposed to acknowledge the existence of fanfiction. This is because if one of your writers acknowledges having read something that then happens to line up similarly to something that you actually have happen in your story, you open yourself up to being sued for having stolen the person's idea. It's why game companies don't want you to send them your ideas on a fighting game character or a new Pokemon because suddenly, they can't make something even similar to that without opening themselves up to liability. Writing is the one where this can most easily happen on accident but also have some of the strongest case for those accidents. As such, most companies just stay far away from it.

But... That doesn't really make it sting any less, does it? To know that within your community, you will always be seen as lesser by the very creators of the work you enjoy. That you will never be given the same respect as the creatives who have mediums that are simply better for those companies to work with. I am not trying to even make a war or the like. I LOVE the artist communities for these games. The bops the songwriters put out are fanfuckingtastic. I ADORE that there are some content creators who are helped to make this more of a proper job for themselves because Hoyo is willing to work with their fans like this. I would like it if more companies did stuff like this and they are doing more stuff like this, like how Wizards of the Coast commissioned a good few Youtube singers to make an album of music for them.

I just wish us writers could expect to be able to join in that outside of the exceptionally rare franchise that does bother with books. Paper books though that are probably gotten through the same literary agents that anyone looking for a book to be made goes through. It's not through their communities. If you know of stories otherwise, I'd love to hear it, but until then, see you next tale.

======+++++======

I think the one franchise that I might expect to be surprised about this with would be MtG. I know they'll release books from time to time and it's not impossible those might come from their community. Then again, if it did, The War of the Spark book wouldn't have had so much no homo in it since the writer would have been able to go "People are going to get pissed about this."

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[primeministerofantarctica]

A3! reading club: prologue

Starting off with a prolepsis is a nice technique, although I think it's interesting that only Harugumi gets spotlighted here. Probably to avoid spoilers from later troupes.... Either way, I love how Sakuya's observations serve as an introduction to the other members. Masumi's cool-headed, Tsuzuru won't rest until his scripts are perfect, Itaru's anxious about pulling this off successfully (he does care :')), and Citron's a man of mystery.

I never really thought about this before, but I like that the prologue establishes that Izumi has the experience and knowledge necessary to qualify as a theater director. She's not just diving in headfirst with no idea what she's doing.

Also, this whole "street act" thing sends me every time it's mentioned. Veludo Way has to be a tourist destination, surely Izumi's not the first person to freak out over someone faking an illness. You know those horror stories about comedians dying of heart attacks on-stage bc the audience thought they were doing A Bit; this seems like a disaster waiting to happen. What if you got into an argument with someone and a bunch of strangers started clapping.

At least Tasuku's nice enough to come over and make sure Izumi's alright. He's not going to be really relevant for a good long while, but we're already establishing that he does care about other people, despite Godza's "every man for himself" culture.

Oh, Tsuzuru, just be glad you're not a college student in the US. >_>

Sakyo, you JUST recognized the first and only person you had a crush on, the daughter of Yukio himself, and you're telling her to get lost? Why? Are you trying to save Izumi from the heartbreak of caring about something futile? Because if so, you absolutely suck at it.

Izumi's reactions are the best. Also, shout-out to Sakai-san for being able to pull off "bad at acting" without dissolving into the 100% flat monotone typical when actors try to play bad actors. You can tell Sakuya's trying, but his pauses are placed just randomly enough to be awkward. From an acting standpoint, that's got to be incredibly hard to pull off.

This makes me wince. In retrospect, it's so obvious how much Sakyo cares about this theater. He was willing to pause the demolition project for the absolutely miniscule chance that Matsukawa had somehow, miraculously, secured a bestselling performance. Of course he hasn't, but the fact that Sakyo was still willing to give him one more chance speaks volumes.

Unfortunately, he's also a realist, and he's right. People love touting "hard work" as the only thing an artist needs to succeed, but without money, most people simply don't have the financial stability to really dedicate themselves to their craft. It's harsh, it sucks, and it's unfair, but it's also true. I don't remember if we get Sakyo's backstory in the main story or a later event, but going off it it makes sense that this is the additude he's adopted.

This hits harder after finding out Sakuya basically ran away from home :(. Not like he couldn't go back to his aunt and uncle, but that's got to be crushing.

I love how Izumi is mentally pspspsing Matsukawa SO HARD to back her up, just like he did with her earlier. There is a single braincell ping-ponging between these two and Sakyo's just watching this trainwreck.

Sakuya's reaction to Matsukawa saying he cooks all the food is gold. Ofc he's too polite to say it outright, but the fact that even Sakuya feels the need to warn Izumi about Matsukawa's culinary skills is just. So funny.

Speaking of which, I think it's interesting how Sakuya's (known optimist and sunshine child) first reaction to realizing Izumi was lying is a despondent "Does that mean the troupe is going under after all?" He immediately cheers up and snatches the smidge of hope offered to him, but this little piece of character writing goes a long way in setting up his hopefulness as something that isn't based on naivety.

I'm running out of screenshots and too far in to consider making another post, but gosh. Masumi, I love you, but you are making it REALLY easy to remember why I didn't at first. I will concede that his blushing and not being able to look Izumi in the eyes is cute, though. If there was more of that and less of...this, I might have warmed up to him a lot earlier.

Also, Tsuzuru agreeing to join after finding out there's free food is an absolute Mood. Five minutes of screen time and he's already a voice for college students everywhere.

The last few minutes are pretty much what we'd expect - Tsuzuru (very conveniently) says he's a scriptwriter, Izumi eagerly accepts the free labor before he can join a union (I'm joking, I'm joking.), they run back to the theater and Sakyo says he'll give them one more chance. The conditions won't be revealed until the next chapter, but it really is a testament to Sakyo's love for Mankai just how lenient he's being. A month might be cutting it pretty close when prepping for a play, but Sakyo's a debt broker in the freaking Yakuza, and almost definitely acting as a middleman between this company and someone higher up. Ofc the Yakuza here are a lot more lighthearted than the ones in real life, but that's still got to be incredibly risky.

[mo-gxn]

asking this to my fav dndads artists, do you ship any of the teens, if so whom with?

Sorry i took a little while to think about this

hmmmm

this is actually a really hard question because i haven’t really thought about it-

okay i’m gonna go teen by teen 🫡

Taylor— honestly, swiftli. I feel like link is the one taylor gets along best with, so it’s kinda hard for me to see taylor with anyone but link.— BUT ALSO the idea of gothweeb is adorable and i find it kinda funny. they kinda bully each other but it’s fun because i love them. gothweeb is probably my #2 taylor ship. —i feel like taylor and hero was funny but it would’ve never worked out, and it didn’t, and i thought it was really funny. so like, i didn’t really ship it, but i thought they were hilarious.

Link— this is when i reveal my biggest secret… i love gothcleats. i like gothcleats a lot more than i like swiftli. gothcleat moments are more serious and carry more meaning, swiftli if mainly just funny homoeroticism and i love it. i honestly don’t know how to explain why i like gothcleats so much i just do. they hold a special place in my heart. —swiftli is my second favorite. LIKE AHHHHHHHH!!! PIZZA, PISS, HOMOEROTICISM!!!! ALL THE BEST THINGS!!! once again, their relationship is mostly just them being dorky little dweebs and i love them for it. — I LOVE KICKWORTHY… but that’s mostly because it’s basically just me and my best friend and i thought it was funny. i love the joker, my best friend loves garfield, instant win.but in all seriousness, i don’t really have a big opinion on them. i feel like since link didn’t like him at all until after apollo four teens, they dont have a wholesome enough relationship. i know that link has warmed up to herm a lot since then and i find them cute, its just that. — oakicks- i love oakicks and i think that if they polished up their friendship that would be wonderful. norm tries so hard to make everything good for everyone, especially link and herm, but it never works for him. so like, if link had tried a little harder to be nice and include him earlier in the season, it coulda worked.

Norm— ah norm… poor sweet norm… ANYWAY!! Oakworthy. i love oakworthy. it’s so dimmed but i also think it’s so cool and i just think it should be 100% canon. i mean, normal has been manifesting it since the dance, so like, cmon. I feel like herm doesn’t actually like scary as much as he says he does. like it’s just part of the bit. if herm breaks character, the first thing he better do is give norm a smooch. that’s all im saying. i will choose to believe that hermie actually likes normal and is just playing a part rn. he has to crack. he just has to. Norm deserves to get what he wants for just once, and this is all he wants. please anthony, let will have his moment. — Coin Toss, do they actually have a ship name? cause if not i just came up with one. Anyway- scary and norm. i love them. they are so same narrative opposite direction and i love them for it. i see them as platonic but like, feel free to give the homies a kiss ig. but yeah i mostly see them as platonic and scary needs to accept that norm is her new best friend. deal. — i already laid out my reasons why oakicks doesn’t work. i love them but like 😔. —oakweeb just does not work. it never will. taylor bullies norm way too much.

Scary — uhhh- Gothcleats, Gothkicks, wtv. i already laid out my reasons in links section. but like, link and scary could help each other out so much. both of their lives would be (i don’t wanna say so much, but) better. anyway- scary just needs to accept that she can be loved. — gothweeb, i already laid out my thoughts in taylor’s section. i like that and i think they would be cute, but like, not established enough. so i see them as platonic. — already stated my case for coin toss, platonic and i love them. I will explain the whole scary and hermie thing in the herm section- cause i need to write down stuff for herm… — scerica. yes. i love them. let the girls be girls. i ship it, like extremely, but also- they only interacted once in canon. they are my teen, female, nark basically. yes.

Herm- THE SCENE PARTNERS- SCARY AND HERM ARE JUST SCENE PARTNERS TO HERM- I FEEL LIKE HERMIE AND SCARY ARE REALLY GOOD FRIENDS AND THEY SHOULD HAVE GIRLSNIGHT WITH MARGARITA AND ERICA- HERM REFERRED TO SCARY AS A SCENE PARTNER THATS ALL IM SAYING — oakworthy. yes. if hermie can get over himself and accept that scary is nothing but a friend and a scene partner, it would work. please. i am begging. — already stated my place on kickworthy — swiftworthy is illegal.

your welcome-

i rambled- a lot.

[deadboyfriendd]

hello, i hope you are well and that the holidays are treating you gently! in response to an ask i sent in earlier and you talked about cochise and your inspo being blood meridian:

firstly apologies for the length of this reply! OMG!!! wow thank you so much for this incredibly thoughtful answer and yes ofc i would love to talk to you about writing or anything else anytime!! i haven't read blood meridian but i've heard lots of good things about it, i just tend to get squeemish at graphic violence but i'm willing to give it a go to see how the original work, as well as your derivative (i mean that as a compliment) work handle violence and keep it from being simple shock value and mean something in your respective stories. i also haven't read cochise but something tells me i should do my homework. in any case, excited to analyse violence! you mentioned that stone gothic helped you establish the kind of narratives you're interested in and i'm excited to see how you develop and build on the tones and structures you excelled in in that fic!

it's also interesting that you're designing a reader character who sounds quite different from ones you wrote before, naive and cloudy doesn't sound the same as one who realises they just have to keep going on, and that's honestly really brave of you! stone gothic reader sounds similar but hallmark and the 50 first dates girl sound more in line with another sort of fmc. lots of writers tend to write a specific sort of character and it's not necessarily a bad thing, why fix something that ain't broke/write what you know, etc etc, but i am excited to see how you face that challenge on!

I also like the idea that both of them bring some sort of change out to each other. i really really love the line you brought up, "i will not know gentleness in the way i love you". it's very beautiful, i went and re read the letters until i found it and it touched me in a new way. firstly, thank you for talking about your inspirations, that's always great to hear from any artist and it's amazing how much art inspires other art and takes themes and ideas and reshapes them for new stories and purposes! that line is so good and i deeply love the concept of love as softening, of melting, of turning someone who has seen a lot and reminds them of the gentleness that still exists in the world. but the inverse of that that you're planning, of a reader who becomes stronger, more practical, a little more aware of what's going around her, is also a new and exciting thing to think about love! a lot of people, me included, think about love the first way! one of the first qualities i'd want any partner of mine to have is gentle, kind, soft, but the idea that love can also be expressed in making you "harder", stronger, more smarter, worldly, just, i guess more capable? is interesting! its especially interesting because i think it relates somewhat to how a lot of first generation immigrants i think conceptualise love, including my parents, which funnily enough, in certain aspects i show you can explain the western frontier (it's not a one to one match. but. certain aspects, especially since many cowboys were people of colour.). for my mom, for eg, loving my dad was largely an endeavor of mutual success in a new country. their love was made of shoveling snow and breaking ice and living with people they didn't really understand and a lot of that meant becoming smarter and quicker on their feet, and sure they're gentle and nice, but there's also a lot of bonding that happens when you're both working and moving together in a world that's out to get you, and that's an interesting way to make the romance actively part of her character growth, and imbues it with a sense of theme instead of another plot point for the sake of it.

as for the garrison mentality, lmaoooo i do sort of love when nature is seen as a great terrifying unknowable thing and omg!! doc hollidays' last words being "well, i'll be damned" as he went onto the gentle goodnight when he he was sure he'd die a violent death is both ironic and i think, idk if you mean to make it as one, but a very juicy character trait to deal with in a romance. someone who is very sure that they will perish to the forces of destiny and feel a sense of inevitable destiny about it bc of the things they've seen, and instead be actively surprised by the gentleness of their end or the overall tenderness that still exists in the world, is all very delicious, and a complex i absolutely adore. the world can be cruel and evil and chaotic but it can be just as tender and good and soft if we really look for it, especially if we see it in the faces of the people we love! i am also very curious to see if there will be some pedestal-putting of reader at the hands of steve as you mentioned that she is running away from something that steve hasn't really considered a dark past of her own....wondering how he might react when he finds out this person he saw no violence in may have some blood in their path at all and the kind of toll that it could take....all in all incredibly excited to see whatever you're cooking with and it's obvious that there's some real heat in your kitchen!

my apologies for the essay in your askbox, i just found your answer to my original director's cut question so interesting and it's always fun connecting with people and asking them to discuss their art! also, i talked a bit about things in your answer that interested me and how i thought they'd play out, i hope it goes without saying that whatever you decide to do in your story is the right thing to do, especially on a free platform, and any speculation on my part is just excitement and curiosity of a project that sounds interesting and has a very clear passion behind it, which is always something to admire! death of the author and all that is fine, but i believe toni morrison more when she says reading is an act done by writers and readers together! again, hope you're doing good, and excited for bisbee, friend! much love <3 :) !!!

Hi! Sorry I'm just now getting back!

I will say Blood Meridian is VERY graphic and very sudden with the violent onslaught of violent events. If you are squeamish I would avoid reading it to be completely honest, for the sake of readability, historical accuracy, and the general appeal to audience that my readers are, I'm not going to write in several events even remotely adjacent to Blood Meridian in Bisbee. The violence that I do write in is going to be more easily palatable and necessary for character development. Stone Gothic really helped me develop that melodramatic tone and how I can write in a love story with debilitating hurdles. I ended up falling in love with this form of writing and have written it in several different fics: SITG, The bisbee and Cochise Universes, and a lot of my WIPs. I think Bisbee's reader's downfall is ultimately naive, yet is using that personal to ultimately mask the fact that she is painfully self aware. It has been really helpful to me so far to pull pieces from my other characters- who ultimately contain pieces of me- and stitch them together to create a different worldview.

I think a really big part of it so far is that writing has, like a lot of other people on this platform, held some sort of catharsis for me. It is a way for me to write out and process things and understand that, even though I'm hard to love, I'm not impossible to love. The Stains in the Granite reader really helped me through that. The house had such a big part in the actual fic because the street was based off of my childhood home and the house I grew up in! I actually lived down the street from a Dr. Cullen who was a dentist and had yellow show-quality labs! The SITG reader helped me find that part of myself that I knew was mean and helped me process that, even though I am not an internet personality with a shining smile like Disney on ice, that I am a real person that is worthy of being loved. My Nellie reader was how I was learning to process major grief as an adult and trying to navigate those feelings for the first time in my life. It helped me metabolize and marinate in those feelings of losing a loved one, losing a past version of yourself, or losing grip on who you thought you were. Nellie is gritty and forward like I am. She is learning how to heal alongside Eddie. The same is going to go for this Elsie character, my reader from Bisbee. She is loud and obnoxious, she pushes steve a little too far, she is naive, and she is ballsy. She is also carrying the baggage of a past life and a past lover.

I am a firm believer that you are a culmination of everyone you have ever met, and the boys in my fics are merely catalysts for change within my readers. I still listen to Valentines Sux by the frights every valentines day because my ex-best-friend and I did it once and drove around town in heart shaped sunglasses and ate shitty chinese food because we thought we were unloveable but at least we had each other. I wear turqoise and paint cactus landscapes because my grammy fell in love with the desert and let us love it, too. I got into the habit of documenting and photographing even the most mundane things in my life to accomodate my best friend who lives across the country. My readers are shining examples of the way we carry pieces on everyone we have ever met like stones in a suitcase.

I can also relate to conceptualizing love through stories of immigration. My grandfather was a Finnish immigrant who joined the US air force, got stationed at the Clark military base in the Philippines, and then met my grandmother! I didn't know my grandfather very well as he died when I was so young, but seeing how that love manifested itself into met needs is so much different than the way Mr. Flea and I love each other or the way my mom and dad love each other. My grandmother is a very cold person, however, she shows love by means of met necessities. She will make sure you are clothed and fed, make sure you are still in school, make sure you are disciplined and poised and polite- but she will not tell you she loves you. My mother was raised coldly this way, and my dad was a child of divorce, born to teen parents in the 70s. My parents conceptualization of love was also not outward, and oftentimes expressed as frustration or overbearing guardianship, yet we were fed and we were clothed and we figured out how to not kill each other together. However, Mr. Flea was also a child of divorce born to teen parents, though his mom his very outwardly affectionate and he is, too. It's really interesting to me to see how our environments really affected the way we love each other and how we had to learn to heal and navigate each other in the six years we've been together, and the four we've lived together. I was 16 when I met him, after all! One of my favorite examples of this is my grammy, on my paternal side. She was one of many children, her father died of complications of Polio later in his life- when she was 13. She doesn't remember him much, but she did know that he was a talented and published author. He wrote westerns! We were able to get our hands on a collection of recounting he had from the family. My grammy and I read through every page and laughed and cried together 1.) because our diction and humor has been so overtly passed down through generations like stamps and 2.) you could tell that he loved his family by the way he wrote, not by the way he showed it.

[blazichu]

Who wants to hear about my newest niche 2k3 crossover(/AU)? No one? Great! Let's get going.

Pokemon in general really puts a crimp on my whole 'You can cross almost anything over with 2k3' thesis, but that's because it's its own distinct thing outside of the fantasy kitchen sink that 2k3 represents. In this case, though, I think it could be fun to adapt the Subway Bosses as characters who fit in 2k3's world, since they do have the common ground of being based in New York.

They're humanoid gargoyles. We'll get back to this point.

Their creation coincides with the establishment of Grand Central Station, which they were initially made to decorate. They came to life when both a) they were complete and b) the station was operating.

Ingo was completed first, so they consider him 'older' even though they gained sentience at the same time. They were made out of the same materials by the same artist, who worked on them simultaneously to ensure that they matched-- so, in their minds, they're twins.

They work for the subway system, mostly on night shifts. While they're capable of functioning during the day, it's harder on them; they get tired quite easily and it's more difficult for them to move. Sometimes they require mobility aids during the daylight hours.

Absolutely adore the subway and how far rail transport has come since they woke up. It's more the mechanics of it that they like and less the current implementation, because both of them have scathing takes as to the 'current' (mid 2000s) state of things.

Have been around since the 1900s. Might be vaguely aware of the shit that went down re: Volpehart. Seem to have some awareness/connection to Y'lyntis, but deny having been made by Y'lyntians.

Capable of molding rock as they see fit. As their bodies are a living rock, this means they can effectively shapeshift. They chose to look the way they do, and were initially sculpted with different-- less human-- forms.

Will generally mold themselves into forms including long coats. These are reshaped wings, and while they're capable of going without, they're far more comfortable with them at the ready.

Can color match to really sell the illusion of humanity, but contact reveals that they're clearly stone. They're pretty touch averse.

Their sentience is related to the specific type of crystal that brought Kirby's drawings to life in The King; they're just a different art medium. Nobody put their crystal hearts in them-- it seems those were just naturally occurring in the stone they were carved from-- but they can't function without them, and would revert to being regular statues.

Are incredibly aware of the turtles' presence. They're the ones who cleaned up after/covered up subway-related incidents like in The Golden Puck, All Hallows Thieves and Hun on the Run. Emmet's not holding a grudge, but he is keeping a tally.

(I like the idea that, as of s4, they're aware of the outbreak mutants, but like... they've seen weirder, and aren't personally at risk, being made of rock. In fact, the concept of illness in general is kind of an abstract thing for them. They fight the aggressive mutants back from anywhere people would encounter them, and wear masks in an attempt to mitigate the risk of transmission. They're a little confused, but they've got spirit.)